Two women talk about their lives and their children's lives. It's not unusual, a motherly thing to do. One is frustrated with the decisions her son is making; the other tries to be sympathetic. Finally, the first one ends with, "Oh, it's his life!" The second woman is Kyoko Handly, a native of Japan who has lived in the U.S. since her college days, and she is rather surprised.
In Japan, Handly was raised in more of a collective culture, where an entire family would get involved in the poor decisions of a single member. In Japan, there is freedom, but the parents of a wayward child would not feel at ease living their normal lives until the issue was resolved. Handly still finds it puzzling. "People don't think deeply here," she said.
Handly described the culture shock she experiences every time she travels between her two countries. The Japanese airport is clean and nice, with a sign reading, "Welcome to Japan." She explained that in Japan, people are more polite, and no one has to worry about going out at night. Even getting a straight "yes" or "no" answer can be challenging in Japan, because everyone is very concerned about what others would think.
Having lived in both the U.S. and Japan, Handly can pick and choose favorite qualities of each nation. She loves the people in Japan--much of her family lives there. The healthcare is a pain, though, with the long lines that come with universal healthcare. The food, especially the Sashimi, gives Japan another plus. On the other hand, government services in Japan sometimes vary according to their social status.
Handly came to the U.S. over 20 years ago to see what it was like. And now, she has.
And we're glad she came and stayed!!
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